• MD Presley

Where Crimson Queens Lie

We celebrate in a... what you might call a unique way here at Sigil. And with Rob Hayes taking the gold and Alec Hutson sharing the silver in SPFBO 2017, we thought we'd put on our DJ hat for a lovely mashup of Where Loyalties Lie and The Crimson Queen. So sit back, heft your favorite beverage, and see what abomination this unholy union has wrought...

Once again, the funny comes from Hiu Gregg, this time in predictive text AI form, which has also done our own Dyrk Ashton mixed with Harry Potter if you're interested.

The deck was awash with blood and smeared with shit. Drake Morrass stood on his friend’s throat and spat in his eyes.

"You need to know who I am,” Drake said cheerfully as he pulled his belt free, letting his britches drop and stepping closer. "I am required to wear a bandana and a white turban.”

The man shrieked at Drake, and Stillwater rushed to his side. "He needs a legitimate port authority!”

”I don't think about my mother.”

Princess Vhelan nodded grudgingly and Keelin realised that he was not Keilan.

“You could arrange a man who could become a wraith king,” Drake said, grinning wolfishly. It wasn’t until birdsong made him look up that he found himself wanting her feet in his mouth.

“I don’t think your father was friends with my boots.”

“My father was a woman with silver hair and a dark beard.”

Keelin pulled himself up onto his knees and began to cover his eyes with his chin thoughtfully. It seemed like someone had taken a room with a dangerous game and then proceeded to gulp down the entire village with a smile.

Suddenly, Drake shouted at Keilan and lifted his spear and his mug, spilling some kind of magical flower-flavoured drink. “I am looking for a piss and a brothel, for it is uncomfortable to take a piss in a language of war.”

Keilan looked at him and threw his clothes on the deck.

“Come and let me see what you got.”

The two men rushed forwards, grabbed hold of Elaina’s chest, and threw her overboard again and again.

This is my first time, Keelin realised.

#WhereLoyaltiesLie #TheCrimsonQueen #RobHayes #AlecHutson #SPFBO #fantasy #SelfPublishedFantasy #Sigil #SigilIndependent

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